GOTHAM recap: Episode Two - Selina Kyle
Gotham is back for week two, and it’s as mediocre as ever!
I’m actually not sure if I hated this episode less than last week because it’s slightly better or my expectations are just lower, but I didn’t hate it. It felt more like a weak crime show and less like an embarrassing attempt to namedrop Batman characters, so I’ll take it.
This week has Gordon and his partner are investigating kidnapped homeless children, including baby Selina Kyle, from wacky looking creeps who work for “the Dollmaker.” Yes, that is an official DC comics villain, last seen in previous season of Arrow. (Side note, are you watching Arrow? It’s good, better than this. Go watch Arrow). Gordon also faced off against Gotham’s corrupt mayor, played by Richard Kind, who decided to solve the homeless youth problem by shipping them all off to juvie.
The b plot once again followed Penguin. Presumed dead in Gotham, he’s wandering the desert backroads just outside of town (what state is Gotham in anyway what kind of geography is this. Chicago in Nevada?), getting picked up hitchhiking, killing people and trying to blackmail others. Guess we’re jumping right in from low-level mafia runner to villain on the rise? Subtly and this show do not get along.
The b-for-batman plot has Alfred coming to Gordon for advice on dealing with baby Bruce, who’s listening to rock music and burning himself (stop letting the kid watch Fight Club, Alfred). I mean, I don’t know why a gritty detective who popped by last week to chat police corruption with an 11 year old seems like the man to go to for parenting advice, but whatever. Alfred’s trying. Baby Bruce spits out some god awful dialogue, and tries to throw money at the homeless kids.
- Fish Mooney. Jada Pinkett Smith is continuing to kill it. She’s bought in 100% to the character and the world and it’s totally paying off. She’s the only one who feels larger than life so far, which works for me. The rest of the show is so flat and grey we need the punch of life from Fish Mooney and her long ass nails and her “I’m going to end you” facial expressions.
THE MID LIGHTS (shut up I’m going with it)
- Baby Selina Kyle has unfortunately moved from the “yassss more” list to the “… please don’t f this up” list. I think the actress is doing a wonderful job and she feels like a young Catwoman, both in the way she slinks around and the way she carries herself like a badass when she needs to, but I just did not enjoy the bit at the police station where she tells a cop she’ll scream and pretend he touched her. I know, manipulating herself out of a bad situation is very Catwoman-esque, and that is something a 12 year old girl might come up with on the spot, but it felt really cheap. I’m also iffy on the fact that she not only saw the Wayne’s murder, but follows Gordon along on his police investigations because she’s interested in “the boy” AND can I.D. the killer. Once again, not everything needs to be connected y’all.
- Riddler. I don’t know, he’s had like nothing to do but he’s good, I see it. Hopefully the writers google things like “subtly” and “character development over time and not in one episode” and we have a long way to go before he’s actually the Riddler.
- THE ROCK MUSIC DEAR GOD. STOP IT.
- The dialogue? Wow, the dialogue. The scene with Gordon and his personality-less love interest/future wife in their apartment was painful. “You’ve been acting strange the past few weeks, has something happened that you aren’t telling me about?” And then Gordon and baby Bruce were just as painful. “You must have seen lots of terrible things in the war, does it make you feel better to talk about them?” Dear Gotham writers, try googling “natural speech patterns” while you’re at it.
- I’m still calling fetus Robin at some point in the show, but I have a new prediction as well. Last week, Fish Mooney was getting entertained by a ‘comedian,’ and this week a thug calls Harvey a ‘clown.’ I think we’re going to get a not-so vague Joker reference every week until we finally meet the guy, just so we’re on our toes wondering who it could be. It’s the kind of mystery that might keep people watching, since so far nothing else is.
Next week we’ve got a villain in a pig mask killing people by tying them to helium balloons, so maybe that means things will go up from here. PUN!